Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Randomize
