Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
