she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
