You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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