Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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