so that wasnt chicken after all
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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