she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Couch. On fire.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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