So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
