He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
