You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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