you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
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She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
