DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
