i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
