My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
