so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
