Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.