We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
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You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
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I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.