And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
