Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..