idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
