dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
