oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
