in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I can text with my tongue
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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