His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
