bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
