The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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