so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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