she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Damn victory sex feels great
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