you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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