i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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