I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
