yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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