I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize