Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
