I showed him my bush... on skype.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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