my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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