is wine microwaveable?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
