Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
