I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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