Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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