I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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