conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I have tasted many bathrooms
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
