hell yes lets make some ravioli
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
