its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
