nut hugger
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
This is the high leading the old right now
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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