I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
