didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize
