Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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