Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
