Your tits are I can't wait for
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
