did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
