I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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