he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
