i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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