playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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