it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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