Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
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please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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