i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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