I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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