I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
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Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
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is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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