i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
