Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
