wat bout pragnant strippers??
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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