She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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