i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i dont even know how to be here
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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