And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I didn't notice because vodka
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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