i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
