Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
