i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I sprained my soul last night
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize