So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize